This one is for my mom



This is moms Sr pic from High School

This week marks the anniversary of the biggest loss of not only mine, but a number of peoples lives.  This week marks for me the anniversary of having lived half of my life without my mom.
 

1  of my fav pics of mom and I ,
we were both so happy! (Gotta love the perm!)

In thinking about writing this post I have spent a lot of time thinking of all of the things I have done that my mom has not been here to see...I have graduated from both High School and College (which meant a lot to her and she would have been very proud of), I have dated many boys (some of which she would have liked, some of which I think I would have

mom, Krystyn and I on vacation
 I am guessing in Conn.

broken up with sooner had she been here to put me straight!), I married a wonderful man (who I know she would have approved of and I wish everyday had the chance to know each other), I have moved many many times, including twice to Bermuda where she picked to go on her honeymoon.  I have traveled to places she never got to go, I have seen and done things in the 16 years since she left us that she would have loved to do with me or at the very least to hear about, I have had the joy of watching my sister do many of these things as well, and I have had the added bonus of becoming an aunt to 2 boys she would have loved with all her heart.  I have remained friends with many of the same people she loved (some as much as she loved us) and I have made new friends, most of which she would approve and 1 or 2 she would have loved! I have walked thousands of miles in her name to try and defeat what took her away from us (as well as one of her BFFs, Nancy Norton) and I am doing what I can to make sure she is not forgotten. 



The 3 of us the last Xmas we got to spend with mom,
only 4 months before she was diagnosed

 My intention in writing this blog is not be make it sad or depressing because that was not how mom lived her life, as is evident by the picture of the 2 of us above.  My intention is to remind everyone who was lucky enough to know her how great our loss still is, but also to introduce all of the people in my life who I met along the way that never got the chance to know her.  I know it is an easy thing to say my mom was an amazing woman, but in this case it is actually true. You could say that mom walked to the beat of her own drum, but not in a bad way!  She was fun.  She made up her own songs and dance moves, she had funny sayings that no one else really knew where they came from but still knew what she meant when she said them!   To this day I find myself still saying some of these things and then having to explain to whomever I said it to where it has come from.  If it is someone who knew mom then I tend to get a sad smile of remembrance from them, if it is someone who didn't know her, the reaction is typically one of confusion.  After all, how do you put into words the feeling that you get when you think about someone so special and all of the ways they touched your life.  There are no words that do it justice (I get the irony of that statement and the purpose of this post!)



The Shebanies when mom and dad renewed their
wedding vows ontheir 25th anniv.  This was only 2 months before mom died.



I don't want to dwell on the time that she was sick (as it was only really 4 months of her 46 years of life) except to talk about this picture.  Everyone who knew her knew how much she hated to have her picture taken.  This is the last family picture of the 4 of us and I cherish it.  Mom and dad had been  married for 25 years, as a celebration of that wonderful accomplishment they decided to renew their vows in the church they had been married in 25 years earlier.  This was on Saturday June 21st, 1996.  The day before I had my 2nd attempt at my road test to get my license.  My appointment was after mom's doctor appointment so I drove her there and then we went to the DMV in Poughkeepsie.  I could tell when we left the doctor something wasn't right but she insisted all was well and that she was just nervous for me.  We went to my test and I passed!  Once we got back in the car she started to cry and silly me, I thought she was so happy that I had passed.  As it turned out she had been told that morning that the cancer had spread.  She didn't want to tell me before I took my test because she didn't want to upset me.  Again, the point of this is not to be sad, it is to say look at that picture and how happy she is.  She is holding hands with the love of her life and surrounded by her 2 girls and all of her friends and family.  This was the happiest day we all shared that summer.  Little did we know 2 months later we would be at the same church with the same young priest (this was his first wedding and then mom's was his first funeral) to say goodbye to her.  Even if we did know what was coming, I don;t think any of us would have chnaged a thing about that night.  In a word it was amazing 





Mom and I at my first prom when I was a freshamn,
 she didn't get to see me go to my own proms



Of course we all struggled in our new life without mom and I have had many people commend me on how I handled that at such a young age.  The thing is it never occured to me to do otherwise.  I guess I could have very easily turned to drugs or criminal activity or I could have done a crappy job at school and no one would wonder where it came from.  But as a true testiment to what a wonderful job mom did raising me, the only thing I thought to do was go forward.  One of the best complimets anyone can give me is to say mom would be proud of me.

 

So as this week comes and goes and as the years flash by us, thank you for taking the time to read this and remember with me what an awesome person my mom was...afterall, we only get 1 mom and I was lucky to get this one, even if the time I spent with her was way too short!  

 

miss you mom xoxo    

BDA->PHL->VA->OBX!!!! it was a worth it!

So I just noticed that it has been an entire month since my last post and I do apologize, I suck!  Now that I have a real job that does not allow me to sit around play games and update my blog all day, this has suffered.  Lucky for you I have since been off island and have many wonderful (ie- hilarious, embarrassing, stupid, etc...) tales to share. 

I began my journey on Thursday, July 19th with not only 1, but 2 delayed flights!  I was late getting off the island and then really late getting out of Philly.  Thankfully I have an awesome brother-in-law who it seems always get stuck with picking me up when my flights are delayed (big shout out to Big Jim!!) oh, he always gets the even better job of getting me to the airport for the ridiculously early flights back here (but maybe by then he is ready to get rid of me!)

This vacation started for me as they all should moving forward.  My sis and I had Friday to ourselves to go get mani/pedis a nice lunch and then massages!  We did a little shopping as well, we needed to ensure we had enough supplies to get us through the week....

6 boxes of wine...check! very large bag of popcorn...check!

For more than half my life now (for serious!) my family has been going to the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  It has been with different families and different house over the years, but for the past few years it has been the same crew of 24 (14 adults, 10 kids) in the same house, The Bella Donna Del Sol and for us it is one week of paradise.


our home away from home for the last week of July every year

This year we decided that rather than sit in house of traffic on Saturday to get to the house, we went Friday night and stayed in a hotel.  The kids were able to swim and Krystyn and I went on an adventure of our own trying to find pizza for everyone for dinner.  It would have all been great had we been able to get into the house on Saturday early like we did the year before.  As it worked out we were not able to get in until 4pm.  We had a whole bunch of unhappy kids which resulted in some grumpy (and a few hung over) grown ups.  But finally at 4 we were in and vacation had officially started!

The week involves a lot of fun activities and  many trips between the pool, the beach and the cooler for beers.  One of the newest activities is the Speedo Run for the men...this year they were each offered $50 to run down the the beach together and "frolic" in the ocean.  They did so and it resulted in a round of cheers from the many appreciative onlookers on the beach. 

We also have the opportunity to celebrate some half birthdays while we are there, any excuse for ice cream cake works for me!

Is Madison checking Jamesy out????

We  had a wonderful fireworks display (which was way better then the 4th of July one I saw here in BDA) thanks to Brendan! I also got a chance to eat so much food that I am not able to get here so I went all out and ate everything in sight, the extra pounds are totally worth it. 

This year we started a new tradition...The Ricky's!  They were awards given out at the end of the week in honor of Rick who we were forced to say goodbye to way too early and miss greatly.  With categories like "SandBarTender" given to Ryan for the number of times he swam out to the sandbar and back and "Face Off" to James for accidentally hitting Jen in the face with a football, it made for a very fun evening.

most of the kids waiting for the Ricky's to start

After spending  months counting down the days until the trip, the week ended up going by way too fast.  I would say it was a perfect week, except there was 1 really important person who was not able to join us, Philip.  He was missed by everyone. 

As anyone who knows me knows that no trip home would be complete without a couple hundred dollars spent at Target.  Krys was able to get me there on Saturday before I flew out on Sunday.  This resulted in me having 5 bags on the way back here (including a suitcase borrowed from Krys because I didn't have enough space).  At $90 per bag for overweight bags I had my fingers crossed when they were put on the scale and of course they were both overweight.  Thankfully I was lucky enough to either have a very nice or very mathematically challenged woman check me in because somehow I did not pay for either bag.  

So now I am back here on the rock missing everyone and looking forward to seeing them all again next summer.  In the meant time I have already started the count down to Christmas in VA when I can see my family and have another amazing week with them.